Thanks, Costco

I won.
We finally joined Costco.
With a muscle man and (soon to be) two growing boys, we decided buying in bulk would be a plus.

So Beau and I went last Tuesday just to kill some time and get aquainted. Preggos should be banned from this place. A package of 900 Oreos. Yes, please.

Which brings me to Thursday...

I had my routine doctor's appointment. No lie, as I was standing on the scale, the nurse blinks a few times, looks at me, looks at the scale, and says, "Am I reading this right?". Yes, sweetheart. Believe it. And despite my efforts to not wear jewelry or heavy articles of clothing that would weigh me down...I have gained another 10 pounds. In one month. Put that in your oven and bake it.

Trips to Costco are now limited to non-food purchases until further notice.

Anywho...

When Nanny was here over Thanksgiving she gave Beau his early Christmas present. He loves his bike. Well, that is until Leo makes him put his feet on the pedals and pushes him... thats when he screams bloody murder. Then it's just hilarious.

Seasons Greetings.

Yes, it's me...aaaand yes it is 4:30 in the morning. I made the utterly rediculous decision of drinking some orange juice (high pulp, calcium added, Pat...hehe) after 4 o'clock pm yesterday. Worst. Reflux. Ever. But, my digestive issues are your good fortune. Yes, we'll go with that.

I do want to apologize (again) for the blog neglect. But, you DO know it'ts that crazy time of year and I have been spending my time doing such productive things as:

Putting my Christmas decor up.

**crickets chirrping**

Oops.
No.
That's a lie.

Oh, it's definitely pulled down from the attic and sitting on my dining room table in all it's holiday glory. I normally LIVE for decorating my house for the holidays, but feel more like the Grinch this year. Let's just skip all the who-hash. My tree has been assembled for a week now without a stitch of decoration on it. Not a light, nay an ornament. And since I'm married to Scrooge in the flesh, it's just gonna stay naked until I somehow muster up some motivation. I did manage to throw away the pumpkin that has been gracing our doorstep for, oh, I don't know, TWO whole months. That's a start, right?

... So I've been doing my Christmas shopping.

Wait. Nope. Another fib. First of all, I hardly have the brain power to even wrap my head around the concept of gifts this year. The mere thought of going out amongst the crowds of sicklies and greedies makes my head explode. AND since I can barely fit in my car, all gifts are coming from a 1.2 mile radius of my house. Which limits choices to the Shell Gas Station, Big Lots, and, since the Huddle House closed, a Carribean Restaurant. 'Dats jerk wings for everyone, mon!

...But I've definitely been getting ready for baby.

Dammit. Can't get one by you guys. Let's just say...this baby better not decide to come a day earlier than planned. We are nowhere near where I had planned to be at this point. Since we are moving Beau to a "big boy room" (I feel like I have to say that in a high pitch voice and enthusiastic expression, even when talking to adults. It's awesome.) I had wanted to get him in there by Thanksgiving to get used to it. Ok, so it's been postponed to Christmas...New Years...Groundhog day?

Ok, the real reason is I'm feeling great and am always busy working out and volunteering in the community like a cow. A bipolar, sleep deprived, cow. When my mood swings are under control, my gas isn't. When I go an hour without peeing my pants, my back is killing me. I just don't want to bring everyone down with all my moaning, I mean, that's what I have a husband for.

Bah humbug.

Despite the devoured Halloween candy, overlooking the eaten birthday cakes, disregarding the fact that I have to vacuum every waking day to keep his hair under control, and even ignoring the occational "accident" (which I believe are on purpose to give me the doggie middle finger)...my baby boy LOVES this dog. AAAAnd as much as I hate to admit it, Baxter is really good with Beau.  Its really the only thing that dog has going for him right now...

Oh, and could someone please tell me when my baby was replaced by this little boy?  I know I'm hormonal, but it makes me weepy seeing how big Beau is getting. Ok ok...I am so over the top hormonal I was even getting teary at a re-run of the break-up episode of "The Girls Next Door".  But Hef looked so sad... and old...and sad...

Um, anyway...                                 

Playing Catch Up

Ok, everyone. Grab a beverage and get hydrated, grab a snack, get comfy... its gonna be a long post. So sorry it's been a while. I've just been really lazy busy. 

Well, let's get the business out of the way first. I had my 6 month check up today. Everything is good. Tootles has a strong heartbeat. We have to have his birthday "picked out" by my next appointment. Since I have to have a scheduled C-Section we even get to pick the day. Its sounds crazy. But I think for an anxious control freak like myself, it will be good. Oh me? I'm fine, thanks. Another seven pounds up. Geez. I stink at this. And whenever my doctor starts to reprimand me about my weight my life turns all "Ally McBeal" and all I see is a giant chicken wing in a lab coat dancing around. Weird.

Anywho, earlier this week I saw on the news that Cobb County was doing a free H1N1 clinic and vaccinations right near my house. It was scheduled from 2-7 this past Tuesday. I figured get there right at 2 while people are still at work and the kids are still in school and we would be golden. Ha. Wait, that deserves a something bigger....HA!When we rolled up to the back of the line I would guess that we were lucky number 2,381 and 2. Beau and I waited for 3 hours along with the rest of Cobb/Douglas County to get the most sought after thing in the United States since Tickle Me Elmo. Beau was so good, though. He just sat in his stoller and ate the lunch I packed him and watched all the other wild kids running around. Not one disgruntled peep from him all afternoon. Well, besides when the nurse jammed a needle in his thigh. But we are vaccinated!

In early October, I had my 10 year high school reunion. Wow, I'm getting old. I took NO pictures so I stole these from people's facebook pages.

Nicole, Jamie, moi, Amy, and Amanda

Me and Amanda showing our baby bellies.

Ok, on to the things ya'll really care about. Pictures of Beau. Leo and I love taking him to this park right near our house.

Ugh. I had grand plans for this Halloween. However, I completly overestimated my level of motivation. So I ended up making Beau a flying monkey costume (from Wizard of Oz) and I was the witch. The Wicked Chubby Witch from the NorthWest Suburbs. With my monkey. Anyway, I always make a huge vat of chili and we all head over to my Gramp's house and hand out candy. Oh, and speaking of candy... I purchased the quality bag from Costco. I'm talking like 10 pounds of Snickers, Reese's, M&Ms and Hershey's goodness. Well, I come home from an errand one day and that asshole dog of ours has cleaned me out of about half of it. Wrappers and all. Don't believe me? The proof is in our backyard.

Soooo... That was exhausting. See you in January. Haha. Just kidding.

Maybe.

********

Random post script... Can you believe that Blogger's "updated" version doesn't have spell check?!?! This is a nightmare! For all of us! Ya'll, I am so sorry, but there are just going to be a TON of misspellings/typos. We should all write letters and complain.

My Favorite Time of Year

Geez...I can't believe its already the middle of October. Time is really flying. It will be Christmas before I know it and then soon after that, Tootles W. Furlong will be here. No, we aren't really naming him Tootles, but the battle is in full swing and that seems to be the only name we can agree on at this moment (jokingly). Is it just me, or are boy names just so much more difficult to come up with? It must be manly, but not trendy, but also sound good with Furlong, and be a good football name, and not remind me of someone that I knew in middle school who smelled bad... AGH! Please submit your suggestions to the comment box! We have decided on a middle name, though! YAY!

Anyway, October is hands down my favorite month of the year. I just get all giddy when those cool nights come rolling in. Oh, and pumpkins. I love me a pumpkin. Katie and I took the kiddos up to Gainsville for our second annual trip to the pumpkin farm. Ooops, did I mention that the outlets are right down the street from the pumpkin farm? We might have stopped there too...And we might have purchased a few things... I may be chubby right now, but Kate Spade purses are one size fits all.

Um, back to what I was saying...I love going back and comparing pictures to last year's. So here is Beau last year, 8 months old, at the pumpkin farm:

Now, compare to this year... Such a big boy. It was MUCH more difficult getting pictures this time.

What little boy doesn't love playing in a gravel driveway?

Miss Molly was almost equally hard to photograph. I guess being propped up among random gourds and hay bales is cause for anxiety in some 3 month olds...hehe. How cute is she, though? She is wearing Beau's hat from last year... and next year Tootles will wear it... and the year after that... well, let's just say, it won't be my turn. (Katie, I cropped out the inappropriate pumpkin stem placement, hehe).

This past weekend was also my 10 year high school reunion! Stay tuned for pictures that I totally stole from other people!

SEX

That got your attention, huh? Nah, just wanted to let you know that we are having another BOY! God is good.

Through the Crack

I am 20 weeks pregnant.

Among other joys of pregnancy such as heartburn, irritability, insomnia... there is the most obvious and annoying (to me)... the weight gain. The pure, utter morphing of what used to be my body into this...for lack of a more scientific word, butterball. Goodbye waist. See ya hips. Catchya later abs. This presents a problem. An expectant mother must clothe herself in an entire new wardrobe for the duration. The first time around I thought that would be a highlight, getting to buy all new clothes for an entire season. A woman's dream, right? No no no. I was naive. It didn't take long to realize maternity clothes are the most hideous, gawdaweful, ill-fitting, creations known to man. Well, maybe next to Lady Gaga. Regardless, it's embarrassing.

That being said, I can survive 9ish months of such humiliation. I cannot, however, continue another day suffering the perils of too-tight panties. You can't put ten pounds of sugar in a five pound bag. You just can't.

So what are my options?

The last thing I need right now is a)to spend 3 bajillion dollars on a new underwear wardrobe for my ever expanding landscape or b) to be squeezing into my current collection. Seriously, show me a woman who doesn't want her ass to look like two Idaho potatoes with a rubberband around them? Plus, consider the comfort level and the mobility restraints...I mean, I DO have a toddler to chase after... And fire marshall restrictions...

I'm looking at you, package of Hanes no-wedgie underwear in an assortment of colors...

*Gasp.

Packaged underwear? I haven't gone there since I was sporting "days of week" circa 1987.

Lets get real. You and I were both skeptical when we saw the commercial. No wedgies? How can such a promise be made to us the consumer? I certainly wasn't in the test group. Were you? And now I was going to put these underlings to the ultimate test. No granny panty could even challenge my larger-by-the-day backside. I was taking this one for the team, ready to put this rampage of false advertising to rest. No wedgie comfort? Please. I was already writing the letter to Hanes in my head as I was checking out with my two packages of neatly folded cotton unmentionables. Certainly this was a waste of time and money.

And I did write a letter. It goes as follows:


Dear Hanes, Inc.,

These are the most comfortable things that have graced my butt cheeks since I went commando under a jersey dress when Leo and I first started dating 9 years ago. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this glorious product. Not only are they comfy, but it IS true! I suffered nay a wedge, which, considering the size and scope of the control...it is truly mind boggling. You have somehow broken all laws of physics, and let a chubby pregnant lady be comfortable.

True, they may not be the sexiest, but you really turned on my hubby with that $1.00 0ff coupon right on the package.

Love,
Heather Furlong

Well, I DID Say I Wanted to Live on an Island

Please notice the street signs barely peeking out from the water.





This is what Leo ran into on his way home the night of the floods. And this just happens to be the road we live off of. Yes, there is a road under all that water. A four lane highway, as a matter of fact. Our neighborhood and house are fine. Traffic is INSANE around here because two of the main roads (um, I20 and Highway 78) are both STILL shut down today. But the sun is shining now and GLEE comes on tonight. It's a good day.

Rude Mood

I have, like, 10 drafts of posts going, if I can just pull them together. My brain is just every-which-way these days.


Thanks, everyone, for the thoughts and well-wishes regarding the newest Furlong. Physically, I am feeling great, especially since starting the blessed second trimester. I'm not having anymore nausea or extreme fatigue like I was having there for a minute. Now my primary symptom of pregnancy is extreme chubbiness. I've already gained 14 pounds. I'm trying not to match my 69 pound gainer with Beau. Oh yeah, you read that correctly. Let's just say, I'm super excited about going to my 10 year high school reunion wearing granny panties (I have an entire post in the works dedicated to this topic alone), an elastic waist pant, and retaining water like the Titanic.


Not to mention my new mood. I call pregnant Heather, "authentic Heather". She is really my uncensored self. She is that voice that lives in my head all the time but since I usually have manners, she doesn't get to be heard. Not so these days. I can't fake a smile if my life and the life of my unborn child depended on it. Sorry, annoying neighbor that caught me in my car one day. I literally just stared at her as she went on and on about goodness knows what. Sorry, stranger in line at Kroger trying to start a friendly conversation. I really don't care that you have a grandson Beau's age. And please refrain from touching him. It is flu season, after all, and I don't know where your hands have been. Thanks. Sorry, guy at FIVE GUYS, (Jaime, this is for you) that my friend ordering for me said "everything" instead of "all the way". I didn't realize this could be a point of confusion. Use your brain and give me my f*ing yummy cheeseburger. Oh, and sorry, husband for just being a raging bitch, well...EVERY WAKING MOMENT. You are a gem. (I just realized being pregnant is why I have to make New Years Resolutions not to curse anymore...)


Ugh. Anyway.
When I ask Beau if he's excited about being a big brother he shakes his head no. I think that's hilarious. For now.

Here are some pictures from Labor Day weekend.